Divorce Mediation

Divorce Mediation

What is Divorce Mediation?

There has been a trend toward employing diplomacy to resolve a divorce dispute. The philosophy is that a both spouses can sit down together for a few hours with a neutral facilitator and agree on all issues.

Mediation is far different from an uncontested divorce. An uncontested case means that both spouses have, on their own, come up with an agreement as to both of their rights and obligations post-divorce. In my experience, that is the only time that early compromise on a divorce works.

Conversely, mediation attempts to garner an agreement on all issues between spouses when they are unable to do on their own. Having already failed at compromise, the odds of succeeding in mediation are usually ‘slim to none’.

Divorce Mediation is Not Always Peaceful

In order for mediation to succeed, both spouses must exercise patience, understanding, empathy, cooperation, good communication and compromise. Hmm, those attributes sound like the ones that are fundamental in making a marriage work in the first place. If both spouses were able to function like that, they would still be happily married.

Divorce is far from a peaceful process. At best, it is a life changing transition. More commonly, it is quite traumatic. What you need is a New York divorce mediation lawyer who is not only a savvy litigator, but one who also takes the time to counsel – to compassionately help you get through the process as quickly as possible and look out for your best interests during this most difficult time.

I have seen many clients over the years come into my office after wasting tremendous resources and heart-wrenching emotions after failing with mediation efforts. They were either unable to reach an agreement or, after stepping back from the agreement they signed, they now realize that they made a monumental mistake in signing off on it.

There is a time and place for diplomacy, but never at the onset of a divorce. After seventeen years of practice and getting thousands of people through a divorce, my strict philosophy is – “we pray for peace, but we are ready for war”. In fact, the best way to avoid the long war of attrition is to be very aggressive and thorough at the front end of your divorce case. Thus, you are quickly put into a position of strength and leverage where I will be able to effectively negotiate a good settlement for you.

Take the first step towards taking back control of your life.


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